


Buckle up, darling, we're going to Mementos

by Lia404, Tomi_Lang



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akechi Goro's Birthday, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Birthday, Brief mention of other PTs, Crack, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Mementos (Persona 5), No Spoilers, Redeemed Goro Akechi, Sexting, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24511807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia404/pseuds/Lia404, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomi_Lang/pseuds/Tomi_Lang
Summary: Day: BirthdayCrow: TiredJoker: HornyGoro Akechi is forcibly removed from the premises.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 11
Kudos: 75





	Buckle up, darling, we're going to Mementos

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Goro Akechi! You deserve all the crack and fluff and that tiny bit of smut we love to have you experience.  
> (But mostly, all the crack, because your boyfriend is a gremlin.)
> 
> Also, it's a year later and Mementos still exists and Ren still lives in Tokyo. Because _reasons_. LISTEN IT'S CRACK, IT'S NOT THAT DEEP.
> 
> Prompted by a Tumblr post you will find in notes below, the plot bunny popped in Lia's brain who built the genius outline and parts of the exquisite description, and Tomi rolled with it and managed to get all the amazing sass and horniness out at once. Yay for complimenting each other's writing strengths and weaknesses!

Years before, Goro Akechi had felt a tinge of envy towards the birthday boys—those who were celebrated all day long, received presents and well-wishes and colorful parties. Silence and being ignored were always the only presents he got on the day _he_ was meant to be the celebrated boy.

Those were days long gone.

The year before, on his 18th birthday, Goro Akechi’s inbox had got flooded by fanmail, and he had had to avoid going out just to make sure he wouldn’t be stalked. He still hadn’t managed to avoid the ridiculous amount of presents that had awaited him on his desk the next day. Even Sae had chuckled at his blatant scowl. 

“It’s tough to be so _pleasant_ , right, Akechi-kun?”

It had been like flipping a cursed switch, going from getting ignored for 18 years to suddenly being at the center of everyone’s attention. All these people who didn’t know him.  
So much noise.

Goro wasn’t sure which was better. Preferably _none_ : after the year he’d just spent, the only thing he craved for his 19th birthday was being acknowledged in _quietness_.

Maybe that was what had led him to accept that big case today. It was a wonder he was still allowed to work with the police forces, but not only did they let him get back, they even allowed him to browse through heavy case files and were still eager to follow his advice. Go figure.

His phone had pinged with scarce messages all day long, though. No more never ending stream of declarations of love, this year it was just the one message here and there from the friends ( _friends!_ ) he’d made in the last year. Ann wanted to go shopping with him, sending a selfie with the most recent jewelry she bought, and well, Goro was not _vain_ , but maybe he kind of liked shiny things and looked forward to their next meetings. Yusuke had sent a picture of some art he’d drawn for him and--well, it was slightly embarrassing but quite moving, because Goro was pretty sure Yusuke would never have made him look so pretty in Pigeon Gris’s outfit (that idea had Futaba written all over, but the girl herself had only spared a “Hap borth nerd (´◑ω◐`)” message his way). Ryuji had sent a tasteful selfie of him flipping the finger, edited with a flame emoji above his nail (“Blow the candle, asshole”), and Makoto, Haru and Sae had each sent thoughtful messages without anything too exuberant.

All of these had been nice, pleasant, unexpectedly thoughtful touches that had brightened up a day that should have been way too morose.  
Still, Goro thought as he came back home and dropped the heavy pile of documents on his table (he really needed to stop bringing work home), it was hard not to find it weird that he still hadn’t received anything from his _boyfriend_ yet.

And really, it was an even weirder thought, expecting something from someone special—having someone special at all. _Having a boyfriend_ .   
It was nice getting messages saying good night and good morning every day. It was not quite as nice when your phone started ringing with an embarrassingly childish ringtone (🎵 _Let’s go Featherman!_ 🎵) in the middle of a meeting because said boyfriend had found it funny to change your ringtone the last time he visited.

But now it was almost 10pm, and Goro yet had to hear about his _boyfriend_ .  
Goro wondered if Ren was maybe sulking. He _had_ been a bit put out when Goro had announced he would be working late today.  
Still, not even his usual good morning message?

He was about to grow concerned (and really, look at him getting _concerned_ over someone else, what had his life come to), ready to send a message just to make sure Ren hadn’t done anything stupid, when his phone pinged in his hand.

Ren: Hey babe  
Ren: I hope your long day of work went well  
Ren: And… I heard there’s something to celebrate today  
Ren: So I found a nice present for you  
Ren: Alas, no pictures allowed in the collective unconscious  
Ren: You’ll have to come and get it by yourself

The _collective unconscious_? Had Ren gone back to that awful…

Goro: I’m not going to Mementos, Ren.  
Goro: And you shouldn’t be going back there. I know you’re more than able, but it’s dangerous.  
Ren: Aw, scared for me, babe? Maybe you could join and help…?  
Goro: Ren, no  
Goro: It’s been a busy day and I’m tired.  
Ren: !!!  
Ren: But there are so many things there that get me all ready for you…   
Ren: Picture Joker’s ass right there for you to take in the collective unconscious  
Ren: You could make people unknowingly dream of you thrusting in me 

Goro huffed at Ren’s blunt words.  
Sure, the idea of getting under Joker’s clothes and _thrusting_ was pleasant, but…  
He sighed and dropped on his couch.  
His day had been long and he _really_ was exhausted.

Ren: Come on, Goro, I want to be stuffed with your cock~

Goro shook his head. He was amused at the antics (and damn, Ren usually managed to sugarcoat his words better, _what state was his boyfriend in right now?_ ), but there was no way he’d give in like this.  
Also, _he still hadn’t told him Happy birthday!  
_Crows were known to bear a grudge after all.

Goro: Then shove a dildo into yourself or something. I can’t indulge you right now, I’m not getting into Mementos with you. Besides, I’m beat from today’s work.  
Ren: hnnnn…  
Ren: But doesn’t imagining me fucking myself with a dildo while thinking about you make you hard? ;)

Damn. His boyfriend was nothing but _persistent_.  
Goro shifted, uncomfortable. He _hated_ losing, but it was hard denying that the mental picture of Joker pleasuring himself was rather enticing.

Goro: It… kind of does, okay.  
Ren: So will you indulge me, then, oh Great Detective?  
Goro: I am *not* going to Mementos, Ren.  
Ren: :(  
Goro: Ren.  
Ren: :(  
Goro: You could still come over?  
Ren: Oh, if there’s is someone who’ll *come*, baby, it’s you ;)  
Ren: and you’ll come *in me*  
Ren: ...  
Ren: IN MEMENTOS

Goro huffed. This was ridiculous—why was Ren’s cheesy dirty talk even working on him? Despite how thick he was laying it on (it should be a turn-off, really, and yet...), the mental picture still had him already half hard on his couch.

It was hard not to picture Joker, _his_ Joker, held tight in his arms, breathing heavy, shallow breaths… his cheeks blushing a deep shade of crimson, his skin glistening with sweat… just like in a fight, except this could be another kind of fight… yes, with his shirt pulled up, exposing toned muscles and hard, pink nipples… his lower body bare, trembling with pleasure as Goro…

Goro shook his head furiously to bring his mind back from the gutter. Fine. He could… go for the next best thing. Damn that cheeky bastard easily twisting him around his finger.

Goro: No Mementos.  
Goro: But I guess we can… act as if we were in there?  
Ren: oooooh  
Ren: Fancy some roleplay, detective?  
Ren: Yayyy!   
Ren: UwU

Goro groaned.

Goro: For fucks’s sake, Ren, don’t UwU at me  
Goro: It kills the mood

Goro would have bet Ren was goofily beaming on the other side of the line. He could easily imagine his eyes glistening in pleasure at being indulged.  
Goro settled comfortably on the couch, closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to summon his memory of how Ren smelt against his skin as if the other boy was sitting beside him.

The next message took some time to arrive. Surely Ren was doing the same on his side.

Ren: Alright, so we are in a safe room in Mementos  
Goro: No, we’re not, we're kilometers apart in a massive city.

Oh damn, right. _Role playing_. He had to swallow his snark and play along lest his growing discomfort would never ease.

Goro: Wait. Alright, we are indeed in a safe room.  
Ren: Good  
Ren: I’m sitting on a chair in my Joker clothes  
Ren: and you’re in your Black Mask suit because it’s kinky af

Goro snorted. It was hard not to be aware of how _obvious_ Ren was when he ogled his ass in the suit. He wasn’t so proud of the costume itself, but having such a blatant obsession for his _profile_ never failed to make him…  
...Well.  
React.

Goro: I agree  
Goro: ...it makes topping you more fun.  
Ren: Ooooh, talking dirty already, Crow. Are you hard yet?

 _Yes._ Goro winced at the sudden realisation that his trousers indeed _were_ slightly constraining. They hadn’t even really _started_! It was embarrassing.

Ren: i’m all ready for you uwu kiss me gowo

Oh for...

Goro: Fuck’s sake, Ren, cut the uwu talk or we stop right now  
Ren: fine… killjoy

Goro groaned at the rollercoaster of emotions Ren put him in. Somehow, having Ren act so ridiculous through messages made it easier to picture him sitting beside on the couch, bantering with him, toying with him through words and glances and very light touches...  
...Damn, Goro’s trousers were _really_ not comfortable anymore.

Goro: Keep going like that and your joy won’t be the only thing killed.  
Ren: that’s hot!

Goro growled. Trust Ren to rile him up.

Ren: alright, since you won’t kiss me, then I’ll get up from the chair and approach you  
Ren: I want to kiss you, but we’re still in full garb  
Ren: no kissing with the helmet on D:<  
Ren: so... I just run my hands on your torso, your back, everywhere  
Ren: feeling your sexy body… damn I love your muscles  
Ren: bet you can feel the caress through that stretchy striped fabric  
Ren: can you feel it, Goro~?

Goro hated to admit it but he did. He took a sharp breath. He _felt Ren’s hands_ .  
They were being ridiculous, those were only text messages, but it felt like Ren’s hands were ghosting over his skin--really, the fabric of his Black Mask costume didn’t leave much to imagination.  
Goro promptly popped the buttons of his shirt open and discarded the garment on the side of the couch. He then picked his phone again.

Goro: I can. It’s hot on my skin.  
Ren: good  
Ren: bet I can even slightly play with your nipple

Goro’s right hand ghosted over his nipple. He closed his eyes again and pictured the smooth fabric of Joker’s glove.   
He whimpered.

Ren: Then I wrap my arms around you  
Ren: Dig my fingers into that ridiculously thin fabric  
Ren: I feel your back all the way from your shoulders, your shoulderblades, your spine...  
Ren: to this oh so plump ass  
Ren: and I squeeze  
Ren: I squeeze everything I can  
Goro:...everything?  
Ren: u bet  
Ren: there’s a *lot* to squeeze right here, darling

 _Why is it working?_ Goro wondered, as his mind was filled with the image of Joker feeling him up, his hands travelling everywhere on his hands back. _This is ridiculous_. That didn’t prevent his muscles from tightening at the idea of getting squeezed, at the idea of their closeness, of Joker’s breath ghosting over him as he bent just to reach that part of his anatomy.

Goro:...and?  
Ren: oooh, getting eager are we?  
Ren: now two people have to play this game  
Ren: what are *you* doing while I feel you up, Crow?

Goro inhaled sharply, closing his hand on his hip for a moment just to picture how Joker’s arms encircled him, _groped_ him. He was eager to feel the body against him, eager to _squeeze_ too, to enjoy the firm and lean muscles taunt against him.  
He picked his phone back up.

Goro: I want to grope your ass but these puffy pants are in the way  
Goro: so I shove my hands into your pants  
Joker: WAIT  
Goro: what now?  
Joker: not with your claws right?  
Goro: ...your ass is so soft if I poke it with my claws it'll burst like a balloon ;D  
Ren: GORO!  
Ren: congrats you ruined the moment

Goro chuckled. Right, maybe that was a little too silly, but the messages were somehow still having their effect on him. The idea of his claws leaving red trails on Ren’s ass… He’d have to suggest it.

Goro: fine, fine  
Goro: how can I make amends?  
Ren: well if you’re REALLY going to play along  
Ren: then how about you undress me

Goro sighed and smiled. Joker, taunt against him, willingly offering to be unwrapped like a present...

Ren: so what do you take off first  
Goro: Your mask  
Goro: I want to watch your eyes glazed with desire for me  
Ren: ooh you’re getting into it aren’t you  
Ren: your helmet might be a problem tho  
Goro: I tear my helmet off and throw it on the ground, satisfied?  
Ren: woah you’re *really* getting into it then  
Ren: but wait seriously take off all the pointy stuff I don’t want you to stab me  
Goro: you’re sure you really don’t want my claws through your skin?  
Ren: …  
Ren: kinky

Goro chuckled.

Goro: fine. I’ll remove the clawed gloves too  
Goro: if only because it’s too risky to push these in tender places  
Ren: woah Goro woah  
Ren: a bit fast here?  
Ren: how about you *keep* the claws, just for the time you…  
Ren: you know…  
Ren: strip me?  
Ren: my mask is gone and I shrug my coat off  
Ren: it pools at my feet and leaves my arms exposed  
Ren: I know you love this  
Goro: I do  
Goro: I cherish those arms  
Goro: I lavish them with a trail of kisses that goes from your wrist to your shoulder  
Ren: HAH! Goro!  
Ren: I slowly grind against you...  
Ren: this suit really leaves nothing to imagination...  
Ren: I can feel how much you love it...

Goro grunted. This was becoming too real. He quickly unbuckled his belt and took it off, popping the button of his slack open and sighing at the pressure loosening a bit.  
He was _very_ hard.

Goro: I do  
Goro: I grab your shoulders and pull you close  
Goro: and I kiss you  
Goro: hard  
Ren: thrust that tongue into my throat, babe  
Ren: claim me, make me yours  
Ren: you know how pliant I can be

At this, Goro slightly panted. He _knew_ indeed. He knew the feel of his tongue swirling with the other’s tongue, and how intense their battling could be, and how soft Joker’s lips were, and how intoxicating his taste was.  
He had to take control back.

Goro: when you’re left breathless, I let my mouth trail down  
Goro: lick behind that sweet ear  
Goro: down to your neck  
Ren: my top is high-collared, though

 _Oh, you think that._ Goro unconsciously clenched his right hand, picturing his claws, and ran his neatly-trimmed nails along his torso, stopping on his lower abdomen. He shivered and his left hand tightened on his phone.

Goro: Sorry, but I got this planned to a T  
Goro: I still had my claws on  
Goro: And I clawed at you while you were so busy being *tongue fucked* by me  
Ren: !!!!!  
Goro: Your top is now shred to tears, darling  
Ren: oh!...oh  
Ren: well  
Ren: ok that’s hot.  
Ren: very hot  
Ren: literally, with all those scratches you got on me  
Goro: *now* I can get rid of the gloves  
Goro: bite your neck while I finally shove my hands inside your pants  
Goro: your ass is soft, and is all mine  
Ren: daaamn you’re good…   
Ren: your hands feel so good on my ass  
Goro: and what if… I claw at them?  
Ren: ow! hotter! Literally! again!  
Goro: I wanna spank you until those cheeks turn red  
Goro: I want you to feel burning hot and sensitive when I touch you  
Ren: do it… make me hurt…  
Ren: set me on fire, hh  
Goro: I’m taking your pants off  
Ren: wait!  
Ren: what about my boots?

Goro groaned and angrily jerked his hand off from within his pants where it had slowly found its way along the messages. His fingers fell in a furious typing on his phone.

Goro: damn it Ren who’s ruining the mood now?  
Goro: if we’re role playing do you really have to think about the specifics!?  
Ren: yeah, I wanna be realistic here

Goro sighed.

Goro: fine, get rid of these boots  
Goro: quick  
Goro: or I will have to...punish you  
Ren: i gasp and discard the boots  
Ren: and the pants  
Ren: and the underpants that make the pants all poofy  
Ren: and the leggings i wear underneath  
Ren: and the pantyhose i got under them  
Ren: and my sexy black laced panties  
Ren: and

Goro growled.

Goro: this is _not_ what you wear beneath this costume.  
Ren: care to find out?  
Goro: we are not going to Mementos Ren  
Ren: then at least let’s get a bit of equality here, you’re still fully clothed  
Ren: I claw at your clothes  
Ren: I go back to caress you everywhere, so you can feel my fingers through the thin fabric of your costume  
Ren: I’m desperate like that babe

Another groaned passed his lips.

Goro: you’re ridiculous  
Goro: if you aren’t naked in this second I leave you to it and go deal with myself alone  
Ren: fine, fine!  
Ren: you grab my hips and I give a little shake   
Ren: the pants fall on the ground and reveal what’s underneath  
Goro: what’s *underneath*, Joker?  
Ren: why, my dear Crow, only the finest commando  
Ren: we Thieves like to commit our heists *au naturel*

Of course Ren had to pull that card, of _course_ he had too, and now Goro’s slacks were on his knees and his right hand was _busy_. His left kept typing, but multitasking was getting complicated.

Goro: looks like I have you exactly where I wanted, *Thief*  
Ren: good job, detective  
Ren: so, will you punish me now? ;)  
Ren: will you keep frotting on me, feel my hot skin through your suit?  
Ren: will you let me dampen your groin area with my dripping precum  
Ren: as I mouth at your neck through the fabric?  
Goro: I will punish you alright  
Goro: turn around  
Ren: oooh sure  
Ren: I’m turning around with my back to you  
Ren: put my hands on the back of the chair and lean and press my body against yours  
Ren: bare ass against your cock… 

The image was enough. Goro’s hand _grabbed and pulled_ and he gasped at the sensation of relief and want.

Ren: you’re so hard rn, aren’t you~?

He was _so hard_ indeed and his hand was _not enough_ , but he was not about to give up to Ren’s whims.  
He had a thief to punish.

Goro: you want me to fuck you that much?   
Goro: I grind my *still clothed cock* on your naked body, remind you who’s in charge here  
Ren: degrade me, Master~ <3  
Ren: pull me to you, mark me, make me yours  
Ren: you don’t even have to remove your clothes  
Ren: you just have to push these slender fingers in my ass  
Ren: breach me, Goro, as I push against your fingers and your cock  
Ren: can you feel me?  
Ren: Goro?

So maybe Goro’s hands had become slightly _too busy_ to answer Ren’s messages. This roleplaying thing was getting complicated when _fingers in ass_ were involved.

Ren: cat got your tongue?  
Ren: ah no wait Morgana’s at Haru’s

Goro swallowed an indignant gasp.

Goro: Ren damn it don’t bring Morgana into this  
Ren: Ooooh you’re back  
Ren: Were you maybe getting into it even more, Goro?  
Ren: how about I tell you you don’t need to go further  
Ren: your fingers in my ass did the deal...

Surely Ren didn’t mean…

Ren: now there’s a stain on the floor

He did. 

Goro’s eyes shut, focusing on the image of a spent, pliant Joker in his arms. His hand was getting further in and his body tingled, but his phone kept pinging.

Ren: but it would only be fair to give back, wouldn’t it?  
Ren: I turn back to you  
Ren: I admire how your skin got that nice, rosy tint, the one it always gets when you’re excited

And really, Ren was getting _wordy_ here, just when Goro’s brains were having a harder and harder time to _word_ anymore.

Ren: and I drop to my knees  
Ren: my nose and mouth are at the perfect level  
Ren: just right where I want them  
Ren: just right where *you* want them, darling  
Ren: too bad there’s all this fabric between my tongue and your crotch, isn’t it?

Goro’s breath caught in his throat, picturing a starch-naked Joker nosing his crotch. His own hands picked up the pace. He wanted to feel the warm breath of Ren on his cock, and his slick tongue, and...

Ren: let’s get even, darling  
Ren: time to get rid of that barrier between me and you  
Ren: I follow the curve of your clothed cock with my tongue while I put my hands up  
Ren: and I unbuckle your belt

And really, Goro’s breath was so laboured, it was hard to keep his phone in place without it falling, he kept moving and moving and he was almost there, almost, if only Ren would...

Ren: and I unbuckle your belt  
Ren: and I unbuckle your belt  
Ren: and I unbuckle your belt  
Ren: how many _belts_ do you have  
Ren: I unbuckle another belt  
Ren: I unbuckle yet another belt  
Ren: looks like it’s going to take some time for us to go skin-to-skin  
Ren: ...another belt?

Understanding hit Goro like a sudden cold shower. He stopped moving at once and groaned his frustration out.  
Ren had been leading him on all along.  
Once more, the detective had been duped by the thief.

Ren: Sorry Goro, not sure I can go on  
Ren: this outfit is really too complicated  
Ren: I think I need to see it for myself to do it full honor  
Ren: So…  
Ren: special birthday celebration with the accurate outfit in Mementos to jog up my memory? ;)  
Goro: damn it ren

Rushing his clothes back on and constricting his too sensitive member was a pain, but a pain he did one-handed as he typed his brief answer.

Goro: Shibuya. Ten minutes.

When Goro arrived at their usual meeting point, his unflagging erection well hidden beneath his coat and his mind well-set on finding out whether Joker _really_ went commando under these puffy trousers, Ren’s face sported the look of the cat who got the cream.

“Happy birthday, darling.”

Goro growled and launched the Metanav.

(As a retaliation, once they got into a safe room, Black Mask gladly let Joker discard his coat and forget about belts as they both tore their costumes apart. It was nice, and steamy, and sweaty, and the betrayed look on Joker’s face when he realised his clothes were shredded and he had to walk out of Mementos with his coat barely hiding his nakedness while Black Mask just snapped his fingers and switched to a prim-and-proper, very clean Prince outfit was worth fighting against tiredness to get some _action_ into the collective unconscious.)

(Not that they made it very far. They stopped at an intermediate floor so Crow could blow Joker from under his coat, and had to use a Goho-M when the sounds of chains became too close for their safety.)

Despite not having had much of a competition in the years before, this birthday was probably the best Goro ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the Tumblr post that started it all:  
> 
> 
> And well, belts = Black Mask.  
> So there you go. Happy birthday, Goro!


End file.
